I found an email this morning that I thought was pretty funny.
It was a scam, of course. I get similar ones often. Usually, they are dying or
they represent somebody who is dying and have no family or friends to leave
their great wealth to. Most of the time I just delete these emails, but
occasionally I will respond to them. Sometimes, I encourage the writers by
telling them they are too kind to consider me and that I am not worthy of such
consideration, or that I am a wealthy man in my own right and am in no need of
money, that they should give the money to some charity. In most of those cases they seem to think
that my answer is genuine and will continue to write me with different angles
until I tell them they are just plain idiots who need to work for a living
instead of scamming innocent people out of their hard-earned money.
The following is the email attachment I received:
Steven Walker(Esq)
Village Arcade Station Road
London E4 7DA,
United Kingdom.
E-mail (barristerstwaesq@gmail.com)
Greetings To You,
This is a personal email directed to you and I request that it be treated as
such. I am Steven Walker, a personal attorney/sole executor to the late
Engineer Robert M, herein after referred to as” my client" I represent the
interest of my client killed with his immediate family in a fatal motor
accident in East London on November 5, 2002.and I will like to negotiate the
terms of investment of resources available to him.
My late client worked as consulting engineer & sub-comptroller with Genesis
Oil and Gas Consultants Ltd here in the United Kingdom and had left behind a
deposit of Six Million Eight Hundred Thousand British Pounds Sterling only
(£6.8million) with a finance company. The funds originated from contract
transactions he executed in his registered area of business. Just after his
death, I was contacted by the finance house to provide his next of kin, reasons
been that his deposit agreement contains a residuary clause giving his personal
attorney express authority to nominate the beneficiary to his funds. Unknown to
the bank, Robert had left no possible trace of any of his close relative with
me, making all efforts in my part to locate his family relative to be
unfruitful since his death. In addition, from Robert’s own story, he was only adopted
and his foster parents whom he lost in 1976, according to him had no possible
trace of his real family.
The funds had remained unclaimed since his death, but I had made effort writing
several letters to the embassy with intent to locate any of his extended
relatives whom shall be claimants/beneficiaries of his abandoned personal
estate, and all such efforts have been to no avail. More so, I have received
official letters in the last few weeks suggesting a likely proceeding for
confiscation of his abandoned personal assets in line with existing laws by the
bank However, it will interest you to know that I discovered that some
directors of this finance company are making plans already to have this fund to
themselves only to use the excuse that since I am unable to find a next of kin
to my late client then the funds should be confiscated, meanwhile their
intentions is to have the funds retrieved for themselves.
I reasoned very professionally and resolved to use a legal means to retrieve
the abandoned funds, and that is to present the next of kin of my deceased
client to the bank. This is legally possible and would be done in accordance
with the laws. On this note, I decided to search for a credible person and
finding that you bear a similar last name, I was urged to contact you, that
I may, with your consent, present you to the "trustee" bank as
my late client's surviving family member so as to enable you put up a claim to
the bank in that capacity as a next of kin of my client. I find this to be possible
for the fuller reasons that you are of the same nationality and you bear a
similar last name with my late client making it a lot easier for you to
put up a claim in that capacity. I have all vital documents that would confer
you the legal right to lay claim to the funds, and it would back up your claim.
I am willing to make these documents available to you so that the proceeds of
this bank account valued at £6.8million can be paid to you before it is
confiscated or declared unserviceable to the bank where this huge amount is
lodged.
I do sincerely sympathize the death of my client but I think that it is
unprofitable for his funds to be submitted to the government of this country or
some financial institution. I seek your assistance since I have been unable to
locate the relatives for the past three years now and since no one would come
for the claim. I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of
the deceased since you have the same last name giving you the advantage which
also makes the claim most credible . In that stand, the proceeds of this
account can be paid to you. Then, we talk about percentage. I know there are
others with the same surname as my client, but after a little search, my
instinct tells me to contact you. I shall assemble all the necessary documents
that would be used to back up your claim.
I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will
protect you from any breach of law. I will not fail to bring to your notice
that this proposal is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any fears as
the required arrangements have been made for the completion of this transfer.
As I said, I require only a solemn confidentiality on this. Please get in touch
via my alternative email (barrister.walker@aol.com) for better confidentiality and if it’s okay
to you send me your telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further on
this transaction, please do not take undue advantage of the trust I have
bestowed in you, Thanks for your understanding.
Kind Regards.
Steven Walker
My Response:
Steve,
This Robert "M" wouldn't be the famous "M"
of James Bond, 007, fame would he? If so, I can see why we would want to keep
our correspondence secret. This is the best one I've seen yet. Your grammar is
way better than most of the scam artists I've had dubious honor of hearing
from. However, there are people much more gullible in the US than I am,
as can be seen by the fact that Barack Hussein Obama (mmm, mmm, mmm) was
elected president and seems to still have enough following that he could be
elected again. I suggest you fish in another pond.
Sincerely,
RM
Obviously, these scam artists prey on innocence combined with
greed, or the desire to get something for nothing. Adults tend to know that there is no such thing
as a free lunch. Children, on the other hand, and sadly some gullible adults,
can be made to believe some pretty fantastic things. Take for example “Obamacare will make health
care more affordable and more accessible to all Americans. Tell that to the many people in countries
with socialized healthcare who are waiting months or even years for medical
procedures that are available pretty much on demand in the United States—at
least for now. Thousands of people live in socialist countries, who can afford
to, come here for medical care.
Also consider the scam that we can have free college education
for all. Who pays the tenured,
over-paid, leftist professors at our colleges and universities? Universities already get billions of dollars
of tax-payer money to keep their doors open. You might be thinking, “well,
what’s a little more then?” I might be thinking, “Why can’t we fire all of the
crappy teachers, and professors we have and get rid of silly programs, like
‘Women’s’ and ‘African-American Studies’, which get billions of dollars and
produce nothing, unlike mathematics,
engineering, medicine and science?
Then there is the scam about the one percent who does not pay
their “fair” share of taxes. These
misuse words all of the time and make them their own. Only in the mind of a
socialist is something uneven the equivalent of far. To believe this, you would
have to believe that 0% is equal to 35%, which seems to be the case for a lot
of people. I suppose, that if you
majored in women’s studies, African-American studies or progressive journalism,
you might not have gotten enough basic math to see that 0 is not the same as
ANY NUMBER! “Zero” is what a sizable minority (about 47 %--that is greater than
“0”) of
Americans are obliged to pay in income taxes. Granted, they may pay payroll
taxes—cut in half recently by the government because it was believed to help
the economy—but it is not enough to keep Social Security afloat by itself now,
since the government dips into it to pay for everything else that it does. Your
employer pays half of the payroll tax, or at least it did, until the government
cut the employee contribution in half. And there are plenty of people who do
not contribute at all, but are on the government dole. Wefar for those who do
not earn a paycheck
We are broke people! Yet President Barack Hussein Obama (mmm,
mmm,mmm) would like you to believe that raising taxes on the “wealthy”—those
making over $250,000 per year will be more fair and will help pay down the deficit.
Even if Keynesian Economic Philosophy worked and the economy was not dynamic,
raising taxes on the job creators would not even be a drop in the bucket in
cutting the deficit. The reality is that Keynes was a blithering idiot. The economy IS dynamic and it responds to
lower taxes, private investment and private job creation! I am sorry you are a Marxist, statist Mr.
President, but capitalism and the free market work very well without government
manipulation. Every time the government
goes beyond it’s constitutional limits in trying to “even the playing
field”. It took us 12 years and a world
war to get us out of the Great Depression, which have been a normal cyclical
recession if Hoover
and Roosevelt had not tried to manage the
economy. If we do it again—this recession should not have lasted over a year—by
continuing to let government, with the insistence of corrupt unions in the
public sector, tinker and remodel an unbroken free market system, we will see
history repeat itself.
Clearly, we are being played, as surely as “Steven Walker (Esq)”
and others like him are trying to play the gullible people out there who are
plugged into the internet. They and the
Obamaites believe we are sheep to be sheared. They promise something for
nothing and expect the producers to provide for those who refuse to provide for
themselves. Clearly, humanity has a
moral responsibility to care for those who cannot care for themselves,
government should not be the dictator on who is to get and how much. Personal
responsibility is key to personal growth and maturity. I can understand a child
being swayed by silly arguments and utopian ideas, but adults should know
better. Many in our government are
purposefully creating a dependent, buying their votes with promises of a utopia
where government will provide for all needs.
But this is a pyramid scheme that cannot sustain itself. They will
eventually kill the cash cow. SIXTEEN TRILLION IN DEBT, PEOPLE!!! SPENDING IS
THE PROBLEM, NOT MAKING THE BEST PRODUCERS AMOUNG US PAY THEIR EVEN MORE UNFAIR
SHARE!