Riddled With ADD

My wife is in the process of writing a book that she hopes to have published. It is to be a guide for spouses and parents of persons with ADD or ADHD. Since it is assumed that I am a sufferer--actually, she would think she is the greater "sufferer"--she asked me to write a bit about my affliction. So, my response is the following.

“Riddled With ADD”

ADD and ADHD were unheard-of terms when I was a young man dealing with the affliction. We, the afflicted, were usually known as juvenile delinquents. I was a C student through grade school. I spent more time in school thinking about what I would do when I got home to entertain myself or daydreaming about funny things I could do or say to break the monotony. The fact that I was pretty smart allowed me to be an average student. I was gifted in sports and art and really enjoyed perusing those interests, so I stood out amongst my peers and teachers in some positive ways, which helped my self-esteem and negated, to a degree, my less-than-impressive scholarly performance. I seem to have entertained the other kids in class—class clown, of sorts—because, when I returned to Kansas as an adult and ran in to an acquaintance from grade school in a line to see a movie, I told him that I had been working a bit in show biz and his response was, “as a comedian?”.

Ironically, I was likely the best educated of my fellow students in some respects. I read a lot and I watched a lot of television. The books I read tended to be classics or historic biographies and the TV programming of the 50s and 60s was much more educational than today. If I saw something on TV that really piqued my interest, an old history-based movie or TV show, I would likely try to find something to read on the subject. I would be surprised to know if there were many children my aged who knew more about the American Revolution, The American Civil War, The Texas War for Independence, King Arthur and The Round Table, etc. than I did. I just didn’t pay much attention in class, unless it was interesting to me and homework was never of interest.

When I entered Junior High school, my aversion to homework was my downfall. I don’t believe I did anything at home throughout my 7th grade year—my first 7th grade year. I failed in English, Geography, and Math, while doing well (As and Bs) in Physical Education, Art, and Industrial Arts and Chorus. I remember doing well on tests in the more scholastic subjects, but my failure to see the necessity of doing homework—frankly, the desire was negligible—and turning in assignments was a clear problem. Neither of my parents had gone past the 8th grade, so I was not really expected to perform well scholastically by my parents. However, I was embarrassed to be held back another year—my friends were advancing without me and I knew I would be assessed as a dope—and was disappointed that it would take me another year to get past the 8th grade and legally be allowed to quit school and go to work as a roofer like my father and older brother.

When I was tested by a school counselor to determine what my problem was, I discovered that I was not a dope at all. The counselor informed me that I had an IQ of 130 and the vocabulary skills of a freshman in college. This changed my opinion of myself profoundly. I began to apply myself to the schoolwork that I had little interest in and I began to do homework. It was not an easy thing for me to do, but I began to reap the benefits of better focus—better grades and inclusion on the schools honor roles. By the end of high school, I graduated a semester early and had decided to go to college, but, though I did not yet know what Attention Deficit Disorder was, I was far from being free of its effects in my life.

I attended night classes at our local university for one semester before leaving for Guatemala as a missionary for my church the following summer. I missed classes, had no clue about dropping classes if I needed to, and didn’t know much about taking notes. After a bad exam in an art history class, I simply stopped going to the class and focused on the classes that appealed to me. I have to say here that, from my later experiences with higher education, that particular art history class and its instructor were abysmal. Even so, I allowed my ADD affliction to derail an earlier successful college experience.

Upon returning from my mission, I returned to college from time to time, while pursuing a music career in the record business as a singer /songwriter. Even as a young man in my mid twenties, I found it difficult to focus on college. Since I expected to be Rock Star in the near future—I had had some minor successes with radio play and record sales in local markets—I only attended college classes that I had interest in, not ever expecting to graduate. The result was a long life of hard physical labor to provide for my family—I returned to roofing and construction work to pay the bills—and frustration with a music career that never developed as I would have wished.

Luckily, I married a great woman with great patience and great capacity to love me and see my potential. Though she was my opposite in many ways—she is the epitome of organization and focus, bordering on OCD, in my humble view—and found my seemingly aimless direction and behavior frustrating, she soldiered on. I eventually went back to college—I had given the music business “the old college try” and decided that it was time—and earned a BA in History before turning 50. I also earned a Master of Science degree in Occupational Safety and Health two years later, and started a belated career as a safety consultant in the construction industry. The fact that I married well likely helped me stay married during difficult financial times and various family struggles. Clearly, our mutual faith was a source of strength, but patience and a desire to understand were indispensable to our life together.

As our family grew and Karen (my wife) recognized some of my behaviors in our children, she began to search for some answers. The ADD and ADHD concepts filled in the blanks for her. As she studied the subject and reported her findings to me, I agreed that it seemed to describe my historic struggles and I began to wonder how deeply the disorder had affected me. I also went for a diagnosis and was confirmed as being Attention-Deficit-Disordered. I have found that the prescribed medication does help me focus better and I have used it on occasion, when I have determined that a specific activity might require a better focus.

In the final analysis, it appears that, as national talk show host, Glenn Beck, would put it, I was “riddled with ADD”. I wish my parents and I had been aware of the disorder in my developing youth. Perhaps, with early attention, I could have developed better habits early on, and been able to accomplish more of a positive nature from my youth. I recognize, of course, that we have the gift of free agency and, ultimately, we are responsible for our choices. However, I believe that ADD and ADHD can be crippling handicaps for some young people who do not have effective parental, familial, and institutional support. Clearly, care must given to affirm worth and potential to the ADD or ADHD afflicted, with a focus on personal gifts and talents, and not to give license or excuse for laziness and self-destructive behavior. In my life, an extra dose of personal talent and a well-timed affirmation of self-worth, along with spousal support and understanding, were panaceas and anchors for personal success in the face of what should be recognized as a real handicap. I don’t like to think about where I might have ended up without it.

Note: My son, Jess, informed me that the term, “ADD”, is no longer used, that all forms include hyperactivity, whether physical or mental.